Don’t fall in love with me…

Don’t carve my name in your heart
I will yank it out of your chest
and squeeze it until it explodes
I will step on it until it stops beating
I will wreck you in such a beautiful way
that willingly you’ll kiss death on the lips.

I am not evil or vile
I’m just scared
because a part of me
will reside in you.

I’m terrified of giving
what I can’t take back
so, I’ll tug it out of you
I’ll cut you open
and take back what belongs to me
even if that means that I’ll destroy you.

I want to save myself
from what I’m putting you through.

I don’t know how to take care
of something so delicate
so fragile
so beautiful
so, I’ll tear it out even before it can bloom
I’ll pop it in my mouth
and gulp it down.

I’ll rip it into a thousand tiny pieces
so, it could cease to exist.

I will clench my jaw
and hold in my tears
but I will hurt you
I will take a knife
and stab you in your chest.

This is just how I am
a ruptured soul
with a wrenched heart
a monster
wearing a veil of hope
a demon
disguised as an angel

I want you to live
so, I beg you to turn your back
this light you see in me
will burn you
this ocean caged in my bosom
will burst
and you will drown in an endless sea

You won’t understand
but happiness scares me
because it comes
with the fear of emptiness
despair comes drenched in hope

I care about you
so, I’ll lock myself
I think I’ve gone astray
I’ll hurt the both of us
So maybe you should just stay away

Photo by burak kostak from Pexels