Destroyed by kindness

Sometimes you have no idea what pain someone’s carrying, or what baggage they’re holding onto, or what demons they’re trying to fight. Sometimes life brings you to a point where you’re standing in front of the person you thought you knew, but in reality, they’re someone completely different. It’s disappointing and confusing because they weren’t honest, and you weren’t supportive. It’s like all your life, you believed in a lie and now that lie is standing naked in front of you, and all you want to do is cover it up because you’re ashamed.

Today I learned something. I learned that sometimes the most beautiful smiles are the ones that rip through moments of doubt. That the shattered souls have the most innocent hearts. The most broken people are the kindest, maybe because they’ve been through hell and they don’t want you to go through it too. Or maybe they’ve given up on life, and they don’t want you to do the same.

I learned that just because you’re kind, ethical and moral, that does not mean the world will reciprocate the same attitude. Sometimes being moral and just will be the reason for your downfall. Being ethical will pull you back. Being kind will destroy you.

Life is only grateful to a few of us. No matter how good and kind you are, the world has its way of dragging you down. It has its way of breaking you and then putting you back together only to knock you down again. To say that you’ve reached the top because you’ve worked hard for it is an understatement. Other factors play a huge role, and life favoring you is one of them. I’ve seen the kindest people break their backs, tear open, and then crack only to drown, and then I’ve seen people curse and laugh only to rise. Why this unfairness? Why does life play hide and seek when it’s wearing a disguise? Why do some people get everything on golden platters while others have to scavenge? Why do some people have happiness dancing on the tips of their fingers, while others are drowning in despair? Why is it that one person’s kindness is overshadowed by another’s cruelty?

Not everyone rises when they fall. Sometimes people drag down the world with them as they plunge. It’s like saying, “if I fall, I’ll take down the world with me.” When life breaks you and tears you open, three possibilities arise.
• You get back up and you try.
• You stay down there and give up.
• Or you pull down everyone else.

Your time will come- I’m tired of hearing this and I’m tired of saying it. You can break all you want, work as hard as you can, spend as many nights awake, but you will get nowhere- not until the doors of your destiny open.

But it is you who has the key. You may be carrying more baggage than your shoulders can bear. Your soul may be joined by twigs as thin as hair strands. Your heart may be bleeding, creating oceans in your chest. You may be the kindest person on the surface of this earth, who’s been broken by the cruelty of this world. You may have blisters on your soles, and your heels may be cracked. Your fingers may be trembling, and your nails might be chipped, but darling in order for the world to see the horizon you see, they’ll be needing your eyes. But that wouldn’t make a difference because the world is blind. Remember a phoenix rises only when it is burned. A diamond is formed only when coal is pressurized. A rose does not grow without thorns. Your time won’t come, you’ll have to drag it to you. Life will break you, but how much you are willing to break depends on you.

Darling, life is tough, but you are tougher.

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