I’m anti-social. Sometimes. Depending on the people and the circumstance and the time and space and the atmosphere.
I’m semi anti-social or partial anti-social. Or maybe 3/4th anti-social. Or maybe 1/4th anti-social. But the point is that I’m anti-social regardless of how non-anti-social I want to be.
I get nervous around people I’m not used to. Unconsciously, I sink into that dark part of my brain that I dread going into because I drown in questions. Like why do you have that scar on your arm? Were you abused? Did you self-harm? Was it an accident? Why do you have that dark look in your eyes? Do you worship the devil? Does the devil worship you? It’s like I want to know everything about everyone. Maybe because it gives me a clear perspective of where I stand. Am I comparing myself to them? Maybe? Or maybe like Einstein, I’m generally curious about everything and everyone. Like why is chlorophyll green? Why are all the other colors absorbed but green reflected? Why freaking Green? Why not purple? Can we time travel if we travel at the speed of light? What is light? Is it just the absence of darkness?
Got side-tracked: but when I meet new people or old people I’m not used to, I start observing them like test subjects. Experiment vs control- Where I am the control and everyone else is the experiment. I notice their actions, the way they speak, the way they interact, the way they smile. I don’t know why I do this. Maybe because in my mind I see everyone as a threat and observing them makes the threat lessen. I honestly don’t know why this happens? It’s like my mind goes into this frenzy and then there’s chaos. Maybe there is some deep unconscious trauma that I can’t pinpoint. Maybe I just overthink which ends up making everything worse for myself.
Some people I meet are the kindest ever, yet I go into this mode. And the worst part is people think I’m creepy because I stare at them way too long or they think I’m showing superiority or attitude when honestly all I’m trying to do is make myself approachable and social.
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I am anti social too. Many of the writer/blogger community are. Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion. We get stuff done and create ideas and art.
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I agree 😉 we’re unique and special in our own weird way.
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Sometimes it’s easier to be behind the keyboard I find.
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Yeah! it is 🙂
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Godd this is me. Did I from an alternate universe write this. 🙃
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Lol… maybe! You never know 🙂
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯🤭🤭💙
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🙂
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Nothing wrong with an observing mind. Inspiration for your writing.
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🙂
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I’m the exact same tbh. We’re just logicians trying to make sense of every tidbit of a thought that we have. Creepy? Maybe. Abnormal? Yes. Do I care if it’s considered as this or that? No. We’re just different, I guess.
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I love that spirit! Yes, its weird, but hey who cares. Cheers to being different 🙂
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Wow…I actually understand so clearly…I guess I’m the same
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Well that makes the two of us!
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Yea I used to be anti social as a teenager and then I began to go to places by myself and began to be more social with kindness and stuff
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I’m trying to do that too!
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That’s good
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I’m antisocial too a lot of the time, but in a different way. Maybe all us antisocial people can be antisocial together 😂
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I like that. “Antisocial people socializing”.
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