In Pakistan or in the Pakistani culture I’ve noticed that women aren’t allowed to leave the house and even if they are the atmosphere and society won’t let them. There’s too much misogyny. Don’t get me wrong there are things about the Pakistani culture that are beautiful, like making sure the family sticks together through thick and thin or the fact that elders are respected and aren’t called by their names. Pakistani people are hospitable. I remember one time a woman, who made money by milking three of her cows gave me and my mom fresh milk when we went over to her house. She barely had enough to feed her kids, yet she made sure we received some.
But the one thing I hate is this misogyny. I’m not a feminist (men and woman can never be equal. There are things only woman can do and there are things only men can do.) When I say women rights, I speak on behalf of all those girls that are put after their brothers. The girls that don’t get a right to education because a woman’s job is to take care of her kids, her husband and her in laws. That’s it! She has no right to dream and even if she does dream, she’ll have to dig a grave and bury herself in it. Don’t get me wrong I support every woman that wants to be a house wife. What I don’t support is that forced component
When I say women rights, I speak on behalf of that aunt who gets beat up by her husband or that cousin who’s afraid to speak her mind. That third cousin whose husband married a second time while he was married to her. That neighbor who was bought as a wife. That woman who was murdered by her own family because she wanted to marry her classmate. Or that woman who had acid thrown on her face for what ever reason.
But even before marriage woman are constrained (I’m not speaking for everyone). These same women dream of getting married to move out and live a life like those couples do in Hollywood movies. But once they get married it’s the same captivity all over again. Sometimes its worse.
Take care of your in-laws. Don’t do anything that might make your parents look bad. Your dreams don’t matter because what your husband says is more important. Leave your family behind and live with mine. See your family once a month.
I don’t know where I’m getting with this. But maybe the point that I’m trying to make is that women leave behind their families for their husbands. They tuck their dreams away to focus on the bigger dream. They go through 9 months of uncomfortableness, then labor and then postpartum. Men have their own struggles. But marriage should never be captivity. It should be motivating each other. Helping one another cope with past traumas. It should be comprehending and understating. It should be a safe haven. It should be Heaven.